I spend entirely too much time on Facebook. I know this. I've taken my fair share of grief for it from the love of my life (as she plays a game on her phone at the same time....not that she's not right, of course). I never really stopped to wonder why I can't get off of that shit. I mean, part of it is easy: I love a good laugh and FB provides plenty of those (sometimes at the perfect moment). But, there's more to it than that. I think I've figured it out. I'll explain it right after I read a couple more dick jokes and watch this big boobs GIF at least 37 times.
Okay, I'm back. That was awesome.
Anyways, the best thing about FB? You. All the peeps. The range of reactions that you can get out of 15 minutes is worth it's weight in gold. Amusement, disgust, arousal, gales of laughter, bitter anger, hunger, jealousy, nausea, curiosity, confusion, respect, tears; all of these and more are available to you and you never know what's coming next. It's great. I can learn all kinds of shit in those 15 minutes (some of it that I didn't want to ever know). If you know me then you know I love to learn new shit. I have a motto: if I learn something new today then it can't be a totally bad day. I live by that.
We've all seen some variation of that meme that says "May your life be as fabulous in reality as you pretend it is on Facebook". It's literally the most commonly seen thing ever on FB, and there is a reason for that: it's funny and pretty damn true at the same time. That's a fantastic fucking combination. People really do want to show you their best side on FB (or social media in general). I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. It's understandable. I suck in my stomach for pictures. The two concepts are kissing cousins, eh?
Then you have the ones who hit you with more negativity than you can possibly stomach in one sitting. Or (even worse) the folks who post uncomfortable personal things for the entire online world to view and absorb. They tell you all of the gory details about the fight with the wifey or the weepy sore on their private parts. Some people have no sense of decency.
Whoa. I just realized I was about to get sidetracked into one of those unintentional listings of all of the different kinds of "FB people". Not necessary, I think. Sorry about that.
As the title of this post suggests I truly and honestly am very appreciative of all of my FB friends. For some of y'all it's the sick and hellbound sense of humor that I appreciate. Others brighten my day with their boundless positivity. My favorites are the ones who keep it light and fluffy with lots of movie and music and sports fun. Give me some good lists of inappropriate jokes or GOT memes.
The worst are the political and religious ranters. Some of y'all are so obsessed with one (or both) of these topics that's it's the proverbial broken record, but there is still something to be learned there. Another blessing. Did I mention that I fucking LOVE to learn new things, even if it is how not to be an asshole? There is always a lesson to be learned. Always.
I suppose this is a form of love letter to Facebook. It's allowed us to check up on people we don't give a rat's ass about anonymously and safely while also keeping us abreast of the daily comings and goings of those we truly love and miss. What a beautiful thing that is.
And, if you have friends that are half as cool as mine, then you can get your hands on some awesome dick and fart jokes. Everybody loves dick and fart jokes.