Big Stu's "Why the Fuck Aren't You Listening to This?" List (Music Edition)

I don't (can't) do much on a daily basis without having music going- home, car, work, bathroom, etc. Hell, I am listening to "The Three Little Pigs" by Green Jelly at this very moment (if you don't know that one LOOK IT UP NOW). Pandora should be paying me I use their app so much. 

In the spirit of my previous lists for horror movies, comedies, and books I thought I'd squeeze out a retinue of musically badasss jams/bands/albums (in no particular ranking or order).

The Bands / Artists of Rock N' Roll (listen to anything....it's safe):

• Guns N' Roses - Sex, drugs, & rock n' roll done to perfection.
• Metallica - Gods of thrash, ageless deities of metal.
• Pantera - If you like having your teeth kicked in. RIP, Dimebag!!
• KISS - THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD (also marketing whores).
• The Beatles - The greatest band of all time (argument invalid).
• Aerosmith - Masters of adapting to the times and staying rooted in bluesy rock.
• Alice In Chains - The most mislabeled "Grunge" band (and most talented).
• Danzig/Samhain/The Misfits - Glenn Danzig is a one-man game changer.
• White Zombie/Rob Zombie - Horror and heavy and dirty-sexy.
• GWAR - Scumdogs of the Universe; undisputed kings of shock rock and poor taste.
• Motley Crue - Sex, drugs, & rock n' roll ALSO done to perfection. 
• Marilyn Manson - One man's vision of devil music; more than just shock. 
• Motorhead - Without Lemmy and the boys thrash doesn't happen.
• Black Sabbath - Without Ozzy and the boys metal itself doesn't happen.
• Pink Floyd - Gods of Psychedelic Rock; nothing gets into my soul more deeply.
• Skid Row - Bach had the best voice next to Freddie Mercury; should've lasted longer.
• Queen - World's greatest frontman and one of the 5 greatest guitarists ever in Brian May.
• Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Best AMERICAN rock ever. Period. 
• Alice Cooper - Before Marilyn Manson there was Alice Cooper, underrated talent.
• Megadeth - Thrash of a different level; Mustaine's voice is timeless and eerie.

The Bands / Artists of Rap (yes, I'm clearly a gangster rap guy):

• Snoop Dogg - The Doggfather and general coolest motherfucker to ever live. 
• Dr. Dre - How many other doctors are there?
• NWA - The most important rap group ever; No one will argue that.
• Ice Cube - Mogul of the game and a pretty decent actor, to boot.
• Eazy E - RIP to the most signature voice ever; my first rap album.
• Tupac - More than "just a rapper"; a fucking poet.
• Beastie Boys - There shall only ever be one. Ever. 
• Onyx - Loud as fuck and kicking in your door. 
• Ice-T - I wore out two copies of "Home Invasion"; it's that good.

The Bands / Artists of Country (no party country here):

• George Strait - A man who never changed and didn't need to.
• Johnny Cash - No explanation necessary.
• Garth Brooks - My personal favorite front-to-back catalog; amazing performer and writer.
• Alan Jackson - That voice, though......definition of "man's man" country.

Yes, I have stations on my phone for each of these CLASSICAL composers:

• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - The King and a true prodigy and genius.
• Ludwig Van Beethoven - Deaf and bad as fuck.
• Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky -Nutcracker, Swan Lake, 1812 Overture??!! 
• Dmitry Shostakovich - So dark, so brooding; stirs my creativity like no one else.
• Frederic Chopin - Nocturne Op.9 is my piano jam.

Songs that speak to my very soul; often left weeping or in a trance:

• Shine on You Crazy Diamond & Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd - RIP, Kracker.
• While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles - Simply beautiful.
• Suzanne by Weezer - Takes me back to my drug years in an instant, makes me miss the homies.
• November Rain by Guns N' Roses - 13 year old me is still crying.
• Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley - This shouldn't need a comment.
• California Dreamin' by The Mamas & The Papas - I can almost smell my Dad when this is on.
• Picture by Kid Rock - Heartbreaking and it showed there was more to The Kid.
• Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix - My single favorite guitar work of all time. 
• Beth by KISS - I hear you callin', but I can't come home right now............
• Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding - My favorite "oldie"; love that voice.

My Personal Top Ten Albums of All-Time:

• Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd (1973)
• Thriller by Michael Jackson (1982)
• Vulgar Display of Power by Pantera (1992)
• Master of Puppets by Metallica (1986)
• Appetite for Destruction by Guns N' Roses (1987)
• The Chronic by Dr. Dre (1992)
• Scumdogs of the Universe by GWAR (1990)
• The Wall by Pink Floyd (1980)
• Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (1995)
• Double Live by Garth Brooks (1998)

When you look through these lists you notice a severe lack of music past the year 2000. I suppose I am a perpetrator of the stereotype that new music sucks. I just haven't heard that much past the turn of the millennium that interested me. I'm such a crotchety old fucker!! Here's one final list for your earholes.

Miscellaneous shit that kicks ass:

• The Blues Brothers (soundtrack, 1980) - I'd better not have to explain.
• Forrest Gump (soundtrack, 1994) - So much great classic rock here.
• Return of the Living Dead (soundtrack, 1985) - Punk greatness
• Pet Sematary by The Ramones - I love movie specific songs (especially from The Ramones).
• Dream Warriors by Dokken - Cheesball hair metal from the best Nightmare film.
• Any musical score by John Williams.
• Richard Cheese - Lounge singer versions of your favorite hits. So bad it's good.
• Bohemian Rhapsody in "Wayne's World"
• Bitch Betta' Have My Money by AMG - Enough said.
• King Tut by Steve Martin - If you don't know you'd better look that shit up.
• 80's movie music, in general - No decade gave us better movie tunes.

Well, hopefully that's enough for you to chew on. If you're reading this and you are in your early 20's or younger then you should consider this to be SAGE ADVICE!! If you're around my age then you'll probably argue with me or tell me what I forgot, but that's cool. I can talk and debate music all day long.